So I've been having more or less regular contractions for a few weeks now. Yesterday they finally got to a point where they were coming every 20 to 30 mins...then every 10 mins...then every 7 or 8 mins. So we called Michelle so she could come get Parker, we notified Grandmommy Brenda so she could pick Parker up from Michelle's later that night, and I threw the rest of my toiletries into my hospital bag. By the time Parker was gone and we were driving to the hospital, the contractions were about 5-6 mins apart which is exactly when my doctor told me to come in. And he was on call. Perfect.
So we get there and the sweet ladies who are checking me in keep asking if I'm okay because I keep breathing through some very intense contractions. (How many times can I say the word 'contractions'? Honestly.) I can barely talk at times and it's hard for me to answer their questions. We finally get back to the triage room where they hook you up to all sorts of stuff and check your dilation progress. About two minutes after all of this is done, my contractions stop. Completely. Just stop. Then a random little blip here and there shows up on the monitor. Then nothing. Then a few big daddys. Then nothing. You have GOT to be kidding me.
Parker's Godmother came up for support and Lauren, massage therapist extraordinaire, came to work on the exact pressure points you aren't supposed to touch on a pregnant woman because it could send her into labor. Then the nurse sent me on a walk for an hour which felt very much like gym in high school when it's raining outside and the teacher just makes you walk circles around the basketball court for the entire period. Except I got to wear a hospital gown. Two actually. One on my front and one on my back so my butt didn't hang out. It's all very dignified.
All of this hard work got the contractions started back up again. Except, get this, the super intense ones were about 7 or 8 mins apart so they weren't close enough to send me back into labor and the ones that were close enough together were the dinky annoying ones that just make you irritable and nothing else. So after three hours and two internal checks I got sent home. How adorable is that?
Now it's the day after and I am consistently having contractions but it's the same deal as when I left the hospital...big, mcnasty ones just close enough to drive me crazy but not enough to dilate me any further and little irritating ones every 5 or 6 mins. I didn't even know this was possible. I do have an appointment with my OB tomorrow so maybe he will take some pity on me and help get this party started.
Also, I hate the term 'false labor'. It's very real, my friends. Very, very real. It's also just dumb and goes away for no good reason. The end.
That same sort of thing happened to me when I was pregnant with Benjamin. I just kept having contractions that kept getting stronger and closer together. I kept going to the hospital and they said that it looked like I was in labor but nothing was happening. I think it was because I was having such a big baby, which I'm sure you are too, haha. I even went in on my due date and they wouldn't induce me and just sent me home. Then when they finally did induce me Benjamin was so big my body refused to dilate. I hope you feel better and stop having so many contractions until the big day, which will hopefully be pretty soon.
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